Learning Labs for CEO Spouses—And Other Incredible People
 By
Henry D. Landes
May 2002
While on vacation last summer with our family in the Canadian
Rockies, we took a sightseeing cruise on Maligne Lake in Jasper
National Park. The engine of our watercraft packed some healthy
horsepower—and I happened to notice the substantial wake V-ing
out behind us.
Suddenly the captain cut the throttle, almost to idle. Momentarily
puzzled, I looked around and up ahead. It was then that I spied
two kayakers stroking their way across the lake, using human muscle
power, not mechanical motor power. The captain clearly realized
that the wake of his craft could have capsized the kayaks had he
continued at 20 mph past them.
So it is sometimes with the spouses of CEOs. If the CEO isn’t
careful, his (or her) wake may end up swamping a spouse who is using
the same lake. Indeed, being married to a CEO can be difficult,
sometimes lonely. CEO spouses have been known to have trouble keeping
their balance when bouncing in the other’s wake; a few wind
up with their face in the water. Sometimes the throttle can’t
be cut in time. Sometimes the CEO is so "into" his or
her duties that the spouse isn’t even noticed bobbing in the
kayak.
Comparable vocational situations include high-profile politicians
and college presidents. Spouses of these people have unique and
daunting challenges. "I love my husband, but I don’t
want to be at every banquet," I once heard a woman say. Just
as not all CEOs are cut out of the same cloth, neither are the spouses
of all CEOs. In other words, how does one deal with the special
privileges, opportunities and obligations of being married to a
person with power, without feeling overwhelmed or overshadowed?
Let’s remember that these folks aren’t "over against"
their spouse. Rather they are needing to claim what is rightfully
theirs—their own sense of purpose and destiny, the integrity
of their own walk. While it’s helpful for others to realize
that the spouse also has a life, the most vital affirmation of the
spouse’s unique identity comes from the CEO himself or herself.
While most (90 to 95 percent) of these CEO spouses are women, the
number of women-owned businesses is growing at twice the rate of
all U.S. businesses. But activities for spouses at conventions,
for example, usually are oriented toward women. Male spouses in
such situations can be the loneliest of all.
In response to member interest, one of the exciting new developments
of the Delaware Valley Family Business Center this year is what
we’re calling Learning Labs.
While our quarterly Forums are
essentially "large learning labs" for business families,
these smaller Learning Labs will
help address more specific needs of our members. Learning Labs currently
under development include:
- CEO Spouses, which I will be facilitating.
- Women in Family Business, facilitated by Sally Derstine.
- Next-Generation Successors, facilitated by Marty Roark.
- Lead Siblings in Family Business, facilitated by Hank O’Donnell.
And others, no doubt, in the future; perhaps you have a suggestion
for a Learning Lab.
If you would like to join or learn more about these Learning
Labs, contact Sally Derstine.
Let’s brainstorm!
With support and camaraderie, we not only will be able to keep
our head above water, we might even decide to go water skiing. Indeed,
each of us can have some great adventures together as, paradoxically,
we take a journey that is uniquely our own.
|
